At the times when I am left alone, in church, meditating on how God has been good to me and how God has been making me feel a certain calling in my life, the happiness in my heart becomes too much.
My heart begins to give way. I begin to cry.
It is these moments that somehow show me how God can wonderfully manifest in one's life, so overwhelmingly.
After attending a meeting in college, just after posting "The True Weather Man" below, I passed by the chapel at the university hospital, where the silence there just made me sit on a pew, meditate on God's presence and at the same time, and cry my heart out because of the things that I haven't been able to comprehend for the past few months.
After that came such an overwhelming feeling, that made me want for more presence of Christ. Receiving the Eucharist in the Ermita Church afterwards that was such an ecstatic experience for me; at one point or the other, distractions may have tried to veer away my focus, but then, God proved His faithfulness.I have to admit that I shed tears because of fear and uncertainty. "What is it that you want me to be?" I have long felt a certain specific call in my life amplified without end, especially through my friends in the Society. My circumstances seem to be very incongruent to what God is inspiring me to plan for.
With these songs, my prayers are somehow reaffirmed and somehow, my doubts are brought to light. Praised be Jesus Christ.
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GOD OF SILENCE
Bukas Palad
The God of silence beckons me
To journey to my heart
Where He awaits
O Lord, I hear You calling tenderly
To You I come to gaze
At the beauty of Your face I cannot see
To rest in Your embrace I cannot feel
To dwell in Your love hurting but sweet
To be with You; to glimpse eternity
God of night, fount of all my delight.
Show Your light . . . that my heart, like Yours, burn bright.
Be still the torment of the night
Will not encumber you, if you believe
My child this darkness isn't emptiness
For here I mold your heart
Unto My image painfully you long to see
The self you yearn to be, but fear to know
The world from which you flee in Me find home
All these I give you, if you remain in Me
COUNTERPOINT:
I am ever here
My child, you need not fear
The dark will set you free
And bring your heart to Me
CODA:
The God of silence beckons me
To journey to my heart
Where He awaits me.
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MAGING AKIN MULI
Bukas Palad
Manlamig man sa Akin puso mong maramdamin
Lisanin man ng tuwa puso mong namamanglaw
Manginig man sa takot masindakin mong puso
Mag-ulap man sa lungkot diwa mong mapag-imbot.
Kapiling mo Akong laging naghihintay sa tanging tawag mo.
Pag-ibig Kong ito isang pananabik sa puso Ko
Sa ‘yong pagbabalik sa piling Kong puspos ng pagsuyo
Manahimik at makinig ka’t maging Akin muli.
Di mo rin akalain tinig mo’y hanap Ko rin,
Ang ‘yong tuwa at sakit, Aking galak at pait.
Kung lingid pa sa iyo, Aking pakikiloob,
Tuklasin mong totoo: tunay mong pagkatao.
Kapiling mo Akong laging naghihintay sa tanging tawag mo.
Pag-ibig Kong ito isang pananabik sa puso Ko.
Sa ‘yong pagbabalik sa piling Kong puspos ng pag-suyo,
Manahimik at makinig ka’t maging Akin muli.
(A personal, unauthorized translation from the Filipino original)
Even if your feeble heart cause your love for Me to grow cold
Even if your burdened heart be rid of happiness
Even if your heart, easily frightened, is now shivering in fear
And your soul, selfish yet in a blur of sadness
I am with You, always and only waiting for your call
This love that I have for you, I long to make you feel
At the moment you come back into this Presence of Mine, so full of love
Silently listen, and be mine again
You may not have thought that I also yearn for your voice
Your joys and pains, are my happiness and bitterness
You may not have known how I have been calling within you
Then look truly into, within yourself.
I am with You, always and only waiting for your call
This love that I have for you, I long to make you feel
At the moment you come back into this presence of mine, so full of love
Silently listen, and be mine again.
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Saint Stanislaus Kostka, pray for us.
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photo credits: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1230/1326795516_a26c067e17.jpg?v=0
http://gallery.photo.net/photo/3327922-lg.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2121/2358650028_a3138ab10c.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2121/2358650028_a3138ab10c.jpg
2 comments:
You hit the nail!
In the scriptures, we see that God found neither in the earthquake, wind or rain. It was in the silence that the prophet found God's spirit and experienced his abiding presence. The psalmist tells us to be "still" know that He is God.
Sometimes however, it is hard to remain silent before Him since we have lived lives filled with noise and distraction; so much so that silence sometimes becomes akward.
The song is so beautiful! My parents are from the Philippines as well, but I've never been there before. I never knew that filipino music/singing could be so beautiful like this! Thanks so much for posting it!
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