A Month After

Lk 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent from God
to a town of Galilee called Nazareth,
to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph,
of the house of David,
and the virgin’s name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said,
“Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.”
But she was greatly troubled at what was said
and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
Then the angel said to her,
“Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.

“Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel,
“How can this be,
since I have no relations with a man?”
And the angel said to her in reply,
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born
will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative,
has also conceived a son in her old age,
and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren;
for nothing will be impossible for God.”
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word.”
Then the angel departed from her.

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Now it's getting longer. I only thought I would be putting my blogging on hold for only a while, but as I discovered astonishingly, I wasn't able to blog for more than a month. Academics have been very stressful, inner issues have been coming to the fore, and the business has to be given attention.

I also discovered such inner aspirations within me that I am now consciously making an effort to reach. I am now trying to learn Spanish, and I am really hoping I could get a good hold onto the the language well enough for me to write with it. I am really planning to blog in Spanish. It is connected with my long-term plans, which, religious or not, will be a great help for a future career either in business, medicine, or even religious life.

Speaking of religious life, recently I am praying for the grace to experience God in another form of religious life. I am not sure anymore whether living the religious life for me would entail having to profess vows of chastity, poverty and obedience, but I am praying for the grace to consecrate my life to God either alone or with someone else. I am praying that somehow, the year ahead will shed light on what God wants for me. Please continue to pray for me.

I have been using an audio version of the Rosary in Spanish, listening to it whenever I would want to shut off the environment around me to meditate. I love how the Spanish language makes the divine connection so real and intimate. At this point I still can't share the things I'm hearing (I'm not yet well-versed with the grammar) but on-the-spot, when I hear the meditations, I can only shed tears at how profound Mary's message gets.

You may access this website to experience God and Mary through the MP3 Rosary in Spanish, Portuguese or Latin.

Mary said her powerful Yes to God. How can I say Yes to God?

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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picture credits: http://www.lesgabriels.com/annunciation-mid.jpg

Busy yet Blessed

Hello everyone! It has been more than a month since I last posted and like anything I post here in this blog, let's start right.

Jn 2:13-22

Since the Passover of the Jews was near,
Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves,
as well as the money-changers seated there.
He made a whip out of cords
and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen,
and spilled the coins of the money-changers
and overturned their tables,
and to those who sold doves he said,
“Take these out of here,
and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace.”
His disciples recalled the words of Scripture,
Zeal for your house will consume me.
At this the Jews answered and said to him,
“What sign can you show us for doing this?”
Jesus answered and said to them,
“Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up.”
The Jews said,
“This temple has been under construction for forty-six years,
and you will raise it up in three days?”
But he was speaking about the temple of his Body.
Therefore, when he was raised from the dead,
his disciples remembered that he had said this,
and they came to believe the Scripture
and the word Jesus had spoken.

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Zeal for your house will consume me.

These words, at the very instant I read this Scripture passage draw me to how God's promises are fulfilled.

First let me start with how I am discerning my vocation. Through the two months that I have joined a particular business venture, my mindset has been to provide for my family and do everything in my power to build a stable foundation for my income.

But when I did consider about the future ahead, I suddenly realized that I don't think yet so far that being a priest would help me serve as many people as possible. My discernment draw me near to differing viewpoints that led me to a religious life in marriage.

I actually imagine myself getting married to the woman of my dreams, which so far I haven't met yet. I imagine her to be genuinely passionate for Christ, just as I am trying to be. Having discerned about the religious life too is a big plus!

I don't know yet what the future will bring. I can only exhort people following this blog to pray for me and help me make wise choices.

Why the particular sentence in the Gospel?

The zeal to recreate God's home in a family I can call my own is such a strong desire in my heart.

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Saint Giuseppe Moscati, pray for us.

Prayers from a Discerning Soul

As I realized now, the three readings for today's Mass are verily appropriate to my current spiritual search. Let my prayers lead you to seek God's reassuring presence yourself. Let us pray together.

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Is 25:6-10a

On this mountain the LORD of hosts
will provide for all peoples
a feast of rich food and choice wines,
juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
the veil that veils all peoples,
the web that is woven over all nations;
he will destroy death forever.
The Lord GOD will wipe away
the tears from every face;
the reproach of his people he will remove
from the whole earth; for the LORD has spoken.
On that day it will be said:
"Behold our God, to whom we looked to save us!
This is the LORD for whom we looked;
let us rejoice and be glad that he has saved us!"
For the hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain.

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My Lord and my God, how much have I put trust in You?

I have long told myself that I ought to offer my life to You, but sometimes, my feelings are giving me an impression that I am not in a good disposition to receive You.

When will I feel good about myself and being a discerner of Your Call?

At the end of the day, will I still be able to feel You? Your Presence sustains me, and nourishes my soul. When will circumstances be under my control so I may direct my time and effort to contemplate on Your love, virtues and revelations? Or when shall I be led by Your Spirit to see You in my own circumstances, not needing anymore extra time to meditate?

When shall I see You, in my everyday life?

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Phil 4:12-14, 19-20

Brothers and sisters:
I know how to live in humble circumstances;
I know also how to live with abundance.
In every circumstance and in all things
I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry,
of living in abundance and of being in need.
I can do all things in him who strengthens me.
Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress.

My God will fully supply whatever you need,
in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father, glory forever and ever. Amen.

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Lord God, you have revealed to me recently a business venture that You have introduced to me at a time when my soul was sorrily downtrodden and on the verge of giving up.

You have inspired me to build my own character and business in a Spirit that is acceptable to You.

I offer You my efforts at building this business, so that my family may be able to enjoy living in abundance and share the gifts of Your generosity.

This is all for the ultimate goal of leaving everything in the future to serve You wholeheartedly, while fulfilling the needs of my family for material sustenance.

If it is Your Will, let it be so in Your Name.

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Mt 22:1-14 or 22:1-10

Jesus again in reply spoke to the chief priests and elders of the people
in parables, saying,
"The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who gave a wedding feast for his son.
He dispatched his servants
to summon the invited guests to the feast,
but they refused to come.
A second time he sent other servants, saying,
‘Tell those invited: “Behold, I have prepared my banquet,
my calves and fattened cattle are killed,
and everything is ready; come to the feast.”’
Some ignored the invitation and went away,
one to his farm, another to his business.
The rest laid hold of his servants,
mistreated them, and killed them.
The king was enraged and sent his troops,
destroyed those murderers, and burned their city.
Then he said to his servants, 'The feast is ready,
but those who were invited were not worthy to come.
Go out, therefore, into the main roads
and invite to the feast whomever you find.’
The servants went out into the streets
and gathered all they found, bad and good alike,
and the hall was filled with guests.
But when the king came in to meet the guests,
he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment.
The king said to him, 'My friend, how is it
that you came in here without a wedding garment?'
But he was reduced to silence.
Then the king said to his attendants, 'Bind his hands and feet,
and cast him into the darkness outside,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’
Many are invited, but few are chosen."

When will I have to stress myself to get more time to meditate? When will I have the comfort of not worrying how much time I have left in my schedule? What keeps me from fully placing all my cares on You?

Will I be able to offer my life to You in full? Will I have to die and spill my blood for the love of You?

At that last day, will I have the grace to wear the wedding garment?

Will I be called? But Lord, above all,

Will I be chosen?

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Burn within us, holy fire, so that chaste in body and pure of heart, we may deserve to see God.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.eat-online.net/english/artistic/images/vermeyen.jpg, http://www.transgrowthinc.com/images/iStock_Mountaintop.jpg, http://www.personal-development.info/images/AbundanceAttractingEFT.jpg

Job's Doubts Answered

Jb 38:1, 12-21; 40:3-5

The LORD addressed Job out of the storm and said:

Have you ever in your lifetime commanded the morning
and shown the dawn its place
For taking hold of the ends of the earth,
till the wicked are shaken from its surface?
The earth is changed as is clay by the seal,
and dyed as though it were a garment;
But from the wicked the light is withheld,
and the arm of pride is shattered.

Have you entered into the sources of the sea,
or walked about in the depths of the abyss?
Have the gates of death been shown to you,
or have you seen the gates of darkness?
Have you comprehended the breadth of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all:
Which is the way to the dwelling place of light,
and where is the abode of darkness,
That you may take them to their boundaries
and set them on their homeward paths?
You know, because you were born before them,
and the number of your years is great!

Then Job answered the LORD and said:

Behold, I am of little account; what can I answer you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Though I have spoken once, I will not do so again;
though twice, I will do so no more.

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I am sometimes very annoyed at my own personality. Really I am.

There are times when I feel very disappointed for myself. I am usually known by people close to me as outgoing, noisy and very alive. But I am not always like this. My classmates tend to see a different side of my personality: usually reserved, quiet and wearing a pensive, sometimes even sad, face.

Today's first reading tells us of how Job tried to think about God's purpose for His life, and how God responded to his doubts. How will I approach God? How will I know the answers to my questions in life?

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, help reveal to me the mystery of the purpose of life. Amen.

A Time to Pour Thoughts

Eccl 3:1-11

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every thing under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

What advantage has the worker from his toil?
I have considered the task that God has appointed
for the sons of men to be busied about.
He has made everything appropriate to its time,
and has put the timeless into their hearts,
without man’s ever discovering,
from beginning to end, the work which God has done.

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"He has made everything appropriate to its time,
and has put the timeless into their hearts,
without man’s ever discovering,
from beginning to end, the work which God has done."

People who have been reading my entries in the past say that I am "wordy" when I write. The constant attempt at improving one's writing style is indeed a lifelong journey, and I do not hesitate to take pride at how God has allowed my writing to evolve.

First of all, I am not what people would consider to be an accomplished writer. I have long tried my best to get into competitions, but to no avail. I would often write what I feel my soul drives me to write, often using more than one clause within a sentence to explain a point. Like what I just did.

Unlike most children my age, I was brought up sheltered within the confines of our home, enriched by the books made available to me. My siblings may have engaged in play more often; I often found myself practicing my handwriting or reading a good book instead. Throughout my childhood people would point at me as though I was from another planet.

Well, not entirely. I did play childhood games. I loved playing doctor, playing the traditional Filipino games taguan (hide and seek), patintero, tumbang preso, jackstone and marbles even, but took things sourly in defeat. Which was more frequent than usual.

I guess the time I would have spent practicing the skills necessary to win those games went to reading books. About different countries. About inventions. About religion. About Japanese and Korean writing. About music. About flags and geography. About history. About journalism. About medicine.

But I read not for the sake of passing exams or being able to answer teachers' questions. I loved to read because I wanted to know more. And I wanted to be a better person with the things I had the privilege to read about.

Just this morning I presented a case on cough, while my case partner discussed acute epiglottitis, an inflammatory condition affecting the epiglottis, that movable flap of cartilage supposedly protecting the airway from choking while swallowing.

I was asked questions to which I only grimaced in a vain attempt to answer them.

It is during these kind of moments when I am sometimes doubtful about whether I should have chosen medicine or not. After all, I was about to be a computer science professional, and I had planned to become a specialist in the organizing of various forms of information on the web. God may only have the answers, but I am still confused why I have to take up medicine.

It wasn't really an expected option: I chose Computer Science as my major and had only passed an accelerated medical course intended for people who checked a small box on my application form to enter the University of the Philippines. It was such an unexpected outcome that my scores in the admission test happened to make it to the cut-off. "Are you interested in an accelerated program leading to Medicine?" it said.

Nonetheless, I am still wondering why I seem to have a different take on various seemingly ordinary things. I am still wondering why I seem not able to join when my classmates have fun in each other's company. And I am still wondering why most of the group conversations I have been with others only involve me as an observer. I have seen only a few people sharing the varied interests I have, and they're very far from reach.

But despite my seemingly dysfunctional social behavior, I love sharing experiences and passions to the people I find myself most comfortable to be with. Somehow I feel I am still blessed because God has at least given me the chance to meet people tolerant enough of my mood changes.

Often whenever I write something about my personality and my personal struggles to address my self-issues, I expect myself to cringe after reading these entries in a month or so. I often expect telling to myself how emotional I have become and how mushy I write.

People who are often faced with various problems are usually told to increase their social interaction. But people aren't always comfortable with the people around them to upgrade their erstwhile low level of interaction with them. One cannot force and expect a particular person to warm up with the people he wouldn't ordinarily deal with. Somehow this is my struggle. I find some people not particularly favorable warming up to.

Which leads me to the vocation. I feel that if I am really called to ministry, I have to learn being a brother to all around me. Just as how a doctor should be a doctor to all*.

It will take both skill and prayers to really pull this off. I guess it is not an excuse to be overly conscious of how one feels comfortable with the people around him--for no matter how seemingly unfriendly the people around me be, if ever I become a priest, I must be a priest to all. I must be an example, a holy one, to all.

My previous blog posts all dwell on this particular theme: changing oneself to serve God better and prepare for responding to the call. I pray once again that with this attempt at further getting to know myself, I may learn to do things the right way one step at a time.

Burn within us, holy fire, so that, chaste in body and pure of heart, we may deserve to see God.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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*From an interview with a fraternity brod of mine, Dr. Ting Tiongco, a surgeon and social mobilizer from Davao. He just published his book Surgeons Do Not Cry, available at the University of the Philippines (UP) Press, chronicling his experiences as a UP medical student, hospital resident and young surgeon. Like most great people I have known personally, he is Jesuit-trained: finishing his elementary and high school years at the Ateneo de Davao and his pre-medical course at the Ateneo de Manila.

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Today is the feast day of Saints Cosmas and Damian, patrons of medicine. I pray for their intercession that they help us medical students and professionals increase our faith and perseverance in our journey towards becoming true healers with Christian character.

Have I Awaken Up?

Lk 9:7-9

Herod the tetrarch heard about all that was happening,
and he was greatly perplexed because some were saying,
“John has been raised from the dead”;
others were saying, “Elijah has appeared”;
still others, “One of the ancient prophets has arisen.”
But Herod said, “John I beheaded.
Who then is this about whom I hear such things?”
And he kept trying to see him.

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Brothers and sisters, after so long I have posted once again here in this blog. And there are many reasons why I think I didn't make time writing to this beloved repository of my spiritual experiences, one of them is this: I was too desperate to find a quick solution to an already deepening sense of sorrow over some of my circumstances. I became addicted to a very selfish way of forgetting one's problems and experiencing pleasure in the things I see and imagine.

Nonetheless, despite the feeling of being able to substitute the urge for spiritual and emotional release for something of a more impure one, still it was those times that I wanted to cry, to talk to persons who would best understand the yearnings of my heart, something that only those with whom I share this vocation thing in common would quite understand well.

My yearning to be a priest suddenly obscured itself from my view. I knew it was still there within my heart during those trying, testing moments, but it was too within me to be extracted out so that I may extract from it likewise the strength to carry on. The pain needing to be quenched was quite too much for me to bear. I don't know how to express these things to others, because I have grown into adulthood with a notion of not exposing one's emotions too much. I did not like to be someone else's emotional burden. I deemed myself too unworthy of that.

That is why, too often I would just choose to keep quiet, and let everything run its due course. I refuse answering people asking me how things are going. I have such an expressive face--people instantly sense that something may be going on in me, but I try to dismiss their assumption as nonsense--after all, they shouldn't know me better than I do. Or do they?

I really appreciate the effort of people around me to make things feel better for me. But I don't know how I can ever repay them or at least show them the appreciation due them. I may smile to the point of leading others to tell me how exaggerated my smile is. But just this afternoon, while my classmates in hospital duty took our block picture, I smiled, but saw myself very differently from how I would see myself when I am ordinarily happy, excited, enthusiastic with what God has to offer for the next day ahead.

I really don't know how to look at myself recently. I am happy somewhat after rereading my entries here. But I thought about how even the greatest of saints struggled in their own spiritual droughts. I am praying for the grace to still hang on no matter what the circumstances may lead me to do. I think I have been given a snapshot of how it is to let go and not get hold of God's steering Hand. It was unimaginable, horrible, and very lonely. It may have given my inner passions a chance at being tried, being tested for what I thought was my own good. After all, many people may have tried more things than the things I myself have ever tried.

But is it the number of experiences that make us better people? Experience may be the best teacher, but what do those experiences teach us?

I still want to cry. For almost a month, two months even. I haven't shed a single tear in such a long time I wanted to cry out to God for help and despair. I yearn the embrace of people who truly care for what God does for people who strive to follow Him in the fullness of the priesthood He has bestowed upon His people.

I now attempt at listening to the music which has stirred my heart in the past and drove my eyes to shed tears of reflection, happiness and the ecstasy of hearing the voice that I perceive from God speaking within me. Nothing like that still happens, except that at least wonderful fact that I'm back at listening these prayers set to music.

Not the worldly noises, the depraved stories or the profane scenes of those days when I tried to quench that spiritual thirst with something else.

"John has risen from the dead." In fact, it was Jesus who made Himself known to the world around Him. People were actually thinking He was John the Baptist resurrected from the dead.

Honestly, it is quite hard for me to connect my personal sharing today with today's Gospel reading, something I usually do in my blog posts. I may have been given the first step to get out of that rut, but slowly I walk the water to Christ. Having enough faith to get me through and actually reaching Christ is another matter.

But I am really happy nonetheless that Jesus will be there to pick me up, as He did to His apostle Peter.

Burn within us, holy fire, so that chaste in body and pure in heart, we may deserve to see God.

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Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, pray for us.

Following Him Through His Cross

Mt 16:21-27
Jesus began to show his disciples
that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly
from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.
Then Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him,
“God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.”
He turned and said to Peter,
“Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me.
You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

Then Jesus said to his disciples,
“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
Or what can one give in exchange for his life?
For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory,
and then he will repay all according to his conduct.”

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I was in a mess for quite a number of days last week. My confusion over some things in school and within myself caused me to stumble a number of times--as a result, I wasn't able to attend daily Mass and even say my daily devotions.

The past few days saw me heavily burdened for a reason I cannot figure out even now. I pray to God that He give me clarity over how my spiritual life ought to be lived.

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Many of us have convictions we are very willing to fight and die for. The lives of the many martyrs we venerate in the Church are but examples of how men and women are willing to offer their lives for something they hold sacred and true. But how much are we passionate for the things we believe? Is it a healthy or a destructive passion?

This thought came to mind when I encountered comments from someone who insulted the Jesuit order and the Novus Ordo mass, concluding the Jesuits as "not Roman Catholic" and the Novus Ordo "useless."

The reasons for making such comments may still be debated upon, but the fact still remains that people have no right to judge and insult a Society which has produced canonized confessor and martyr saints, a Doctor of the Church and has espoused a very powerful form of spirituality. And the fact remains that people have no right to conclude that a particular approved rite of the Catholic Church is "useless."

Let us pray that God send His Spirit of love, unity and understanding within His Church.

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Take up my Cross and follow Me.

How much am I willing to suffer for the love of Christ?

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Saint Robert Bellarmine, defender of the Catholic faith, cardinal and Jesuit, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.gardenofpraise.com/images/jesu2b.jpg, http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/BDX/BDX341/judge-handing-down_~bxp64659.jpg, http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2007/04/05/cross.jpg

Commitment to the Mission

Mt 23:13-22

Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites.
You lock the Kingdom of heaven before men.
You do not enter yourselves,
nor do you allow entrance to those trying to enter.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites.
You traverse sea and land to make one convert,
and when that happens you make him a child of Gehenna
twice as much as yourselves.

“Woe to you, blind guides, who say,
‘If one swears by the temple, it means nothing,
but if one swears by the gold of the temple, one is obligated.’
Blind fools, which is greater, the gold,
or the temple that made the gold sacred?

And you say, ‘If one swears by the altar, it means nothing,
but if one swears by the gift on the altar, one is obligated.’
You blind ones, which is greater, the gift,
or the altar that makes the gift sacred?

One who swears by the altar swears by it and all that is upon it;
one who swears by the temple swears by it
and by him who dwells in it;

one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God
and by him who is seated on it.”

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You may have heard about how fundamentalists have attacked the Church using the passages of today's Gospel.

In my country, fundamentalist numbers have grown through the years. I once remember crossing myself in one literary contest I joined, and one co-participant was shocked. He acted as though I had some contagious disease. "You're Catholic? Oh no."

The talk about Pharisees and other people of high rank within the Catholic Church can really fire up our brother and sister fundamentalists and bring on their attacks on the Catholic Church, making such claims like "the Pope is the antichrist," and, "you must be Born-Again."

I in fact have just read some comics from this illustrator who seems to specialize in writing against the Catholic Church. I quite remember reading one of their comics about "why is Mary crying," and I just read about how disparagingly their comics depict the Society of Jesus. I have yet to discover the Society from the inside (after all I am not one of them yet, and I am not sure if God will grant me the chance), but I have this to say about the things I read: I found them too preposterous to believe in. These writings can only come from a misunderstanding of what the Church and the Society of Jesus does and is missioned to do.

I personally believe that the way we look at other people can only be influenced by what we have experienced from them. If they are this hateful of our Church, I cannot but conclude that somehow they may have been at the receiving end of mistakes that some members of our Church have committed through the years.

Let us pray for the Spirit of Unity and Faith, that we may all be one, and that we may work to unite ourselves in Christ instead of working towards division and dissension.

The second part of the Gospel tells us about Pharisees crossing land and sea to make converts. We have no authority to judge people as whether they are like Pharisees or not, but this somehow must be clear to us: as we live our lives as Christians, do others see the Faith in us? Or do we further corrupt the world around us? My country was evangelized because of missionaries, as a result my nation is one of the two Christian nations in Asia (the other is East Timor). Not all missionaries are perfect, and history can only shudder at how some of them have done great disservice to the Church and to its newly-evangelized.

If we are sent to a mission, are we doing the right thing? Are we really committed?

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, grant that we may always stand for the Truth and for what God wants us to do for His greater glory. Amen.

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photo credits: http://www.lwbc.co.uk/Marks%20Gospel/pharisees.JPG, http://www.sundayschoolcourses.com/inq/friars.jpg

Going Out of the Comfort Zone

Mt 19:16-22

A young man approached Jesus and said,
“Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?”
He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good?
There is only One who is good.
If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
He asked him, “Which ones?”
And Jesus replied, “You shall not kill;
you shall not commit adultery;
you shall not steal;
you shall not bear false witness;
honor your father and your mother;
and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The young man said to him,
“All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?”
Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go,
sell what you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad,
for he had many possessions.

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It has been a while since I last posted. The grind of a medical student is beginning to take its toll on me, as we have begun seeing patients in the outpatient clinical department of the hospital and answering questions of our clinical consultants regarding the management of our patients.

Many things have been learned, and many weaknesses have once again come to the fore. Many sins have been committed, and many tears have been shed, all for the thirst and the desire to experience God in my everyday life. But at times He could be so far away so as to just feel Him only faintly in my life.

I value highly my feelings, but what is it in the heart? I know Christ is in my heart, but do I allow Him to make Himself known in the actions I make, in the words I say, and in the way I deliver care to my patients?

The picture above shows the living room at the Arvisu House Jesuit Prenovitiate, where I attended open house just hours ago. It was an enriching experience to talk with my friends in the prenovitiate, as well as my friends in the Society of Jesus. It also served as a respite from the immense stress of medical school.

God only knows what future role this house will play next in my life.

Today's Gospel on the rich man reminds me once again on the difficulty of following God's call. If I am indeed called to the religious life, I pray that even now, may the Lord grant me the strength to withstand the pressure of going out one's comfort zone, just to serve Christ in others.

Lord, may my whole life be an acceptable offering to You, and I pray that even if it entails the shedding of blood for Your Most Holy Name, grant that Your Will may dominate in how my lifetime will be spent on earth. In the name of Your Son Jesus I pray, Amen.

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Saint Alberto Hurtado and Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.intheschoolofchrist.org/, http://jeffsj.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/85/4?xurl=%2Fphotos%2Fphoto%2F85%2F4 (courtesy of Br. Jeff Pioquinto, SJ)

Laudare, Benedicere, Praedicare

Mt 16:24-28

Jesus said to his disciples,
“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
Or what can one give in exchange for his life?
For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory,
and then he will repay each according to his conduct.
Amen, I say to you, there are some standing here
who will not taste death
until they see the Son of Man coming in his Kingdom.”

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I have to admit that the hectic schedule of a medical student, an eldest son and a member of college-based organizations is beginning to take its toll on me. I believe that stress tends to weaken one's resistance not only from disease, but from temptation to yearn for something other than the joy that communion with Christ offers. As a result, I sin not only against God, but against others. Things aren't getting done, responsibilities not taken care of, duties not fulfilled.

This suddenly called to mind one of the saints I idolize: Saint Dominic. In dealing with his temptations he would rather hurl himself onto thorns or roll on snow to calm his raging impulses, than deal with the sinful consequences following temptation. In relating with today's Gospel, he would rather carry his cross as valiantly as possible. What thorns and snow do I have to hurl myself onto just to strengthen my resolve to carry on with my struggle to follow God with all heart?

The Dominican emblem illustrates the powerful charism granted to them by God: Veritas, laudare, benedicere, praedicare. To praise, bless and preach Truth. It is a charism that not only Dominicans are called to. This is a spirituality all Christians are called to do in their daily lives. How are we preaching God in the things we do? And, are our actions blessing and praising God?

I often choose the people I relate to about the things happening in my life. As a result, people in class, for instance, don't hear things coming out of my mouth much, just things about hospital and ward work.

So that leaves me with my actions as a way to share myself with others. I do pray that my actions will be able to testify my attempt at doing God's will. But somehow my imperfections come to the fore. I would not take the opportunity to explain myself why I still have imperfections, nor would I demand being understood in the context of my personal circumstances.

I would rather just pray that God would enable me to take this one step at a time.

Why do I expect things to go my way? When will I ever let God do His way?

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Saint Dominic de Guzman and Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.bridgebuilding.com/images/mi409x.jpg, http://oneyearbibleimages.com/cross_follow.jpg, http://homepage.mac.com/jdalisay/blog/user_files/oblation.jpg, http://www.church-windows.com/images/Dominican%20Friars-8web.jpg

Jesuit Coincidences 1

7:30 A.M., August 6, 2008

After receiving absolution from a very kindly secular priest (not affiliated with any religious clergy, i.e. diocesan priest) who always gives me practical advice on how to deal with my weaknesses and failures, I suddenly realized how through the years, his approach on life's problems is very similar to Ignatian spirituality.

Then it occurred to me, that my confessor, to whom I shared my problems through the three years I have been going to their parish for confession, is actually Jesuit-trained.

1:08 A.M., August 7, 2008

Logged into the Philippine Jesuits website. Then I see it: today is a special day for Jesuits, it is today in 1814 that the Society was restored after its suppression 41 years prior.

Oh, Ignatius, for the love of God, meddle with me further!

+ Ad majorem Dei gloriam!

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Sanctus Ignatiae Loyolis, ora pro nobis.

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photo credits:
http://www.church-windows.com/images/Society%20of%20Jesus-8web.jpg

Dryness

Mt 17:1-9

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John,
and led them up a high mountain by themselves.
And he was transfigured before them;
his face shone like the sun
and his clothes became white as light.
And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them,
conversing with him.
Then Peter said to Jesus in reply,
“Lord, it is good that we are here.
If you wish, I will make three tents here,
one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
While he was still speaking, behold,
a bright cloud cast a shadow over them,
then from the cloud came a voice that said,

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased;
listen to him.”

When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate
and were very much afraid.
But Jesus came and touched them, saying,
“Rise, and do not be afraid.”
And when the disciples raised their eyes,
they saw no one else but Jesus alone.

As they were coming down from the mountain,
Jesus charged them,
“Do not tell the vision to anyone
until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

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Just this afternoon, while interviewing a patient in the Ear, Nose, Throat (ENT) Ward.

"Ma'am, nakararanas po ba kayo ng panunuyo ng mata?" Was our patient experiencing dryness of the eye? Our patient said no.

But lately, I wanted to reply to that same question to myself. Yes. I feel dry, but not in the eyes, thankfully. But, I feel dryness of the Spirit. Just as many who attempt to follow Christ, like how Blessed Teresa of Calcutta wrote in her diaries, like how Saint John of the Cross wrote about the darkness of the soul.

In medicine, dryness of the eye may lead to itching, and discomfort of the patient.

In light of today's Gospel, I pray that this dryness may lead me to a deeper longing of the reality that is Christ Jesus. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so they say. I firmly believe that God is deep within my heart, and He can never be absent from my life. But what keeps me blinded from feeling His Presence in my life? Like how you sent Ananias to give sight to the Apostle Paul, Lord Jesus, take away the scales from my eyes, and set me away from my lack of faith.

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Saints Paul and Ignatius of Loyola, pray that my inner yearning for Christ be satisfied. Amen.

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photo credits: http://www.markmallett.com /blog/wp-images/carl-bloch-transfiguration.jpg, http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ae/ Ananias_restoring_the_sight_of_st_paul_(34663925).jpg/ 479px-Ananias_restoring_the_sight_of_st_paul_ (34663925).jpg, http://www.abideinchrist.com/missions/humulla22.jpg

If A Mule Would Do It, Why Wouldn't You?

Mt 14:13-21

When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,
he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.
The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.
When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.
When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”
Jesus said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”
But they said to him,
“Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.”
Then he said, “Bring them here to me, ”
and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.
Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves,
and gave them to the disciples,
who in turn gave them to the crowds.
They all ate and were satisfied,
and they picked up the fragments left over—
twelve wicker baskets full.
Those who ate were about five thousand men,
not counting women and children.

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As I heard the Gospel once again this morning at Mass, I was once again drawn to the parallelism between this event and the Institution of the Eucharist. Fr. Bing Arellano, whose show I occasionally chance upon on EWTN, once remarked about how Jesus went into the future and compartmented His whole Body and Blood into the Bread and Wine He broke during that fateful Last Supper with His Apostles.

We Catholics are particularly fortunate for being given the grace to partake personally the Body and Blood of Christ, as a way of strengthening His presence in our lives. And yes, the mere thought of this sends shockwaves through my spine. Who would imagine such a way for God to be with His people?

One non-Catholic friend of mine once told me that this person wanted me to attend their church for the purpose of giving me more food, because, as this person said, "the Catholic Church isn't giving you much food." Upon hearing that from this person's lips, I almost cried. I cannot bear imagining other people to take Christ's presence in the Eucharist for granted. Reminding myself of the presence of the Eucharist was enough to tell me that my Church is giving me more than enough food: she is giving me God Himself!

As a way of proving the Holy Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, Saint Anthony of Padua once responded to a challenge posed by a non-believer of the Holy Presence.

" During the 13th century St. Anthony of Padua was reported to have converted a hardened heretic through a rather unique contest.

The heretic, by the name of Bononillo, was unmoved by the reasoning of the "hammer of heretics," as St. Anthony was called. Bononillo was as stubborn as the mule that stood beside him.

Eyeing the mule, Anthony made an offer to Bononillo. He asked him whether he would give up his heresy if the mule were to bow down and adore its Creator present in the Blessed Sacrament.

The heretic answered he would, provided he could lay down certain conditions: for two days the mule was not to be fed, and on the third day it was to be led into the public square. On one side of the square would be placed a tempting pile of fresh feed, on the opposite side Anthony could stand with what Bononillo contemptuously called the "body of Christ."

Anthony agreed, but in all humility made one condition. If the animal did not kneel before the Blessed Sacrament, his sins alone were to be blamed.

The day arrived for this strange contest and the square was crowded with people. When the derisive Bononillo arrived with his half-starved mule, he was fully confident that his mule had sense and appetite enough to go after the feed.

But he was wrong. Anthony had implored his Lord in the intervening two days for the soul of this heretic. God did not let his faithful servant down. When turned loose, the mule without the least hesitation advanced towards Anthony and knelt in an attitude of adoration before the Blessed Sacrament.

With much emotion and contrition the heretic too fell on his knees and gave up his heresy. As wonderful as these miracles are the greatest of all, transubstantiation, has to be viewed with the eyes of faith. " (from http://www.therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/oem_mh.htm)

This post once again echoes a call to honor and adore Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, and receiving Him worthily at Holy Mass. Let us continue to purify ourselves, get to know Christ closer by encountering Him in Scripture and tradition, and live lives of Christian goodness and receive Him into our bodies, into our souls, and into our lives.

Let us honor, adore, and worship Christ in the Eucharist. If a mere mule would do it, why wouldn't you?

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Saint Anthony of Padua and Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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Photo credits: http://www.benotafraidnewsletter.com/eucharist_year.jpg, http://prayingforgrace.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html, http://photos9.flickr.com/20095889_1c3d8d85c9.jpg, http://www.monasteryicons.com/products/regular/402.jpg, http://www.stanthony.org/aboutanthony/gfx/history_art_3.jpg

A Snapshot of Life

Mt 14:13-21

When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,
he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.
The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.
When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.
When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”
Jesus said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”
But they said to him,
“Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.”
Then he said, “Bring them here to me, ”
and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.
Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves,
and gave them to the disciples,
who in turn gave them to the crowds.
They all ate and were satisfied,
and they picked up the fragments left over—
twelve wicker baskets full.
Those who ate were about five thousand men,
not counting women and children.

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Our university hospital

Almost all people who attend medical school have dissection classes, in which cadavers are sliced and the parts within it studied, memorized and related to the living human body as a way of learning its different structures. It does offer a snapshot of what the medical student is to expect of his education in his future years.

Admittedly, as I now remember my dissection year two years ago, I never imagined that dissection would offer me such a wide perspective of things, about life, about illness and about how it may affect the body and the soul. I may just be looking at things at a contemplative way, but it works for me. Especially since I hold dear Ignatian spirituality: finding God in all things.

I have not posted in this blog for quite a while, and I thought that this opportunity ought to serve as a way of not only catching up, but of helping me recall God's blessings for the past week.

I am now in third year medical school, a stage that we in my school call integrated clinical clerkship (ICC). In ICC year we are given the chance to interact with patients, and somehow try to study their diseases well enough to propose diagnostic and treatment modalities. We then present our patients to our clinical consultants, as a way of knowing what they have to say and as a way of letting them sign papers for patient management.

ICC year normally starts with a general review of systemic diseases and would later on move on to pharmacology (the science of drug effects and how the body uses them) and rotations within the different clinical departments of the university hospital.

Since we are the medical school of the national University of the Philippines, our patients tend to come from different parts of our island-nation and likewise tend to have very complex diseases entailing complex procedures and management of symptoms. We started rotations last week and my first rotation was in the Ophthalmology department, where patients with eye complaints go.

My first week as an integrated clinical clerk was both exciting and unnerving. Exciting because this opportunity opened me to a lot more chances at getting to know my calling as a physician. Unnerving because I had to deal with the fact that I have to study well enough to present my patients' case to clinical consultants right after examining them. Somehow I pray that after I finish ICC year and enter the immensely challenging clerkship year, I may be ready to face my duties with compassion for my patients, and with faith, strong enough that it can be spread to all people I may meet.

Saint Ignatius at his study.

I began this post with a mental image about my dissection year as a way of introducing how I will post tonight: by dissecting tomorrow's Gospel reading, and reflecting on each salient point and how it related to my life for the past week.

When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,
he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.

We encounter very bad news all the time. How do we manage to pull ourselves together when the undesirable happens? I often choose to just listen to God, and just sit in the chapel, trying to pray and dwell in the Presence of God. But admittedly, doing this isn't always easy. Jesus knew how to handle crises like these, and in the Gospel, Jesus teaches us the value of soul-searching, the value of reflecting and meditating on how God's will manifested in our daily lives, no matter how disastrous or devastating some events may seem.

The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.
When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.

Bingo. He cured their sick. My medical student self seems to pat my shoulder: if you are trying to approach a religious vocation through the medical field, you seem to be on the right track! But I am praying that whenever internal struggles push my spirit to its limits, I may still be able to minister to people. Despite Jesus' desire for some quiet time, He still has to serve the people who need Him. How much are we ready to help other people at times that we think we need more help than these people do?

When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”

How do we manage the people coming to us for help? Do we help as much as we can? How much do we trust ourselves that we have enough faith or resources to help other people with?

Jesus said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”
But they said to him,
“Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.”

We often wonder how we could offer the little that we have for the Lord. As we will later see, we would discover that God magnifies that little thing that we have, but we have to offer them to Him first.

Then he said, “Bring them here to me, ”
and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.
Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves,
and gave them to the disciples,
who in turn gave them to the crowds.
They all ate and were satisfied,

I love this part. It anticipates the Sacrifice that Jesus was about to undergo for the sake of mankind: it gives us a preview of the powerful Eucharist He was about to institute. How much do we trust God to help us in our material needs?

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I was not able to post on the 31st of July, the feast day of Saint Ignatius of Loyola. Since this blog is dedicated to the intercession of Saint Ignatius, I am posting here a poem I wrote about his armorial bearings. His shield is divided into two: the dexter side (seen from the viewer's left) shows seven red bands on a yellow background, while the sinister side (seen from the viewer's right) shows two wolves drinking from a pot.



Both images hold very dear to me: we are seven members in my family, and my surname is Lopez, which is Old Portuguese for "wolf". Loyola itself is a corruption of the Spanish "lobos y olla," the wolf and pot of his shield.

Ode to the Shield

I am Lopez, a wolf,
Seeking respite in the midst of worldly confusion.
Lo, a pot descends, from within I see water my parched soul may partake!
I then see myself, chained, just as that pot which was chained from up Above,
But O, so wonderfully!
Because, in the beginning I may have seen
How seemingly my freedom to roam about was taken away
But when I saw where the chain led to
I can only dance in excitement
I can only sing with joy
I can only exult with such gladness
I can only praise Him ever more!

(Saturday, June 21, 2008, 12:08 am)

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, from whom I derive much inspiration, pray for us.
AMDG.

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photo credits: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/252/449486895_540a5aadf9.jpg, http://www.creativejubilee.com/images/breads.jpg, http://lh4.ggpht.com/_z-2AcZpoNlQ/R5duTTfv3ZI/AAAAAAAAdrM/njR97lvvFew/Ignatius+of+Loyola.jpg, http://www.santuariodeloyola.org/imgx/images/fot_03.jpg, http://www.santuariodeloyola.org/imgx/images/fot_105.jpg, https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhj9zIyuEQioWQVLtKJ-5XJEUKhejMuV9HX2PI8cVRO3iFxKuFrPLGx5eAcXluGuhJItKM6st6r7G9BWycKaE4UMCF88aCdinwflF-VfaCtlnSa8N09ptW5h4rBfuGm1-7Yj_nFLUrwwI/s1600-h/Loyola+Coat+of+Arms+%28House+of+Loyola%29.JPG

The Pearl of Great Price

Mt 13:44-46

Jesus said to his disciples:
“The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”

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What is my Pearl of Great Price?

I was not able to post here for the past two days. Slowly, the daily grind of a medical student starts to get into my so-called schedule, which is not really a list of things to do, but of things to prioritize. Granted, I really feel I am still deficient of time-management skills, and I do feel that if I am to be a good doctor and a worthy servant of God in the religious life, I have to get used with scheduling my time.

For the past few days also, my confusion with the rites with which the Holy Eucharist is celebrated had really gotten into my mind. I think it is in these times of confusion that God sows seeds of faith. I believe that after every significant struggle or confusing circumstance, God is there to clear things up.

I just attended Mass this afternoon. Novus Ordo. While remembering the past few posts I have written here, I am slowly being reminded of how God's presence is felt. Is it in the thunder? In the wind? Or in silence? The mere fact that the Holy Mass, no matter what rite it is said, offers the holy Sacrifice of the Eucharist, I believe that we are actually called to recognize Christ in the changes of liturgy, which may be attributed to the workings of the Holy Spirit in the Second Vatican Council.

Then again, I am happy that somehow God is building blocks of trust and confidence in my Catholic post-Vatican II Church. I firmly believe that His Holy Spirit can never allow the Church to fall, even the gates of hell not being able to surmount it.

Love the Catholic Faith.
It honors and adores Jesus, the Pearl of Great Price, in ways so mysterious yet so spectacular.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.lisasjewels.co.uk/USERIMAGES/Gold%20coloured%20pearls-8mm(1).JPG, http://www.youthtrip.org/resources/images/manaoag-church1.jpg

An Attempt at Clearing Things Up

Mt 13:44-52

Jesus said to his disciples:
“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,
which collects fish of every kind.
When it is full they haul it ashore
and sit down to put what is good into buckets.
What is bad they throw away.
Thus it will be at the end of the age.
The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous
and throw them into the fiery furnace,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.

“Do you understand all these things?”
They answered, “Yes.”
And he replied,
“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven
is like the head of a household
who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.”

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I have been confused for quite a time this week because of how we worship today and assist at Mass. I consider the Mass a central part of the spirituality I am attempting to adopt, and I am really praying for the grace to maintain its sanctity, to preserve its richness, to maximize its holiness.

All along something within me has been telling me that only the Traditional Latin Mass can keep up with such a description of an ideal Mass: sacred, rich, holy. But after thinking and meditating it quite at length, and after reading today's Gospel, I am led to believe in the following things I am about to write.

Many Catholics may consider this generation a very rebellious, secular, modernist society. One need not look deep within this society to find how things are gradually secularized. Personally, I am studying in a university where secular values predominate, in keeping with a spirit of equality with other groups of students who may believe in other gods or do not believe in the divine altogether. People of today's world may have turned into what we may consider a modernist society, in such a way that even our religious values are slowly being made to disintegrate.

We are living in an era where choices seem too depraved and immoral, where pleasure and indulgence take the place of sacrifice and self-giving, where love and peace are turned into hatred and violence. All of these may be happening at too much a degree that many people consider our times to be the last days. Only God may confirm the truth about this assumption, but nonetheless, we may choose to conclude: we are living in a society that necessitates renewal, especially in how we now approach spirituality and Christian responsibility.

This phenomenon, already recognized in the middle of the 20th century, may well be considered an impetus for the Church to reexamine its perspective on contemporary society. I personally believe it is not a question of relevance to the demands of society. Rather I prefer to believe that it is a question of how the Church can bring Christian spirituality to a world in which new forms of an ancient spiritual hunger have been created within our hearts. Thus, the Second Vatican Council.

This is what I believe to be the thrust of the Second Vatican Council: an attempt guided by the Holy Spirit in discerning the role of the Church in contemporary society, an attempt that aims to deliver the Christian message more effectively yet in a manner faithful to Apostolic tradition.

One of the reforms brought about by the Council were the changes in the liturgy. It may still be debatable on whether these changes truly conform to the spirit of the Council and effectively carries out the Council's thrusts.

And the fact remains that the changes in liturgy, which we now name the Novus Ordo Mass, may have served as a starting point for differences in putting the edited liturgy into practice. Here in the Philippines, many of these diversions abound. But somehow, at the end of the day, one may think about how these diversions served their purpose. Did these lead the people closer to Christ? And more importantly, did these differences in liturgy properly pay respect due the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ?

The reformers of the Mass put forward provisions aiming to maintain the solemnity of the celebration and the honor and adoration it must give the Eucharist. These reforms, I am sure, were prayerfully thought out while considering the lifestyle of today's Catholic. But how is the Mass being said today?

Many of the changes in the Catholic Church since the Second Vatican Council have left some people confused. Some may have chosen to leave the Church altogether, and some claim to remain while being in a stance against the Council.

With my discovery of the Traditional Latin Mass, I was tempted to think that this form ought to be used universally within the Church, with all restrictions to its use in parishes be lifted. I think that sentiment wouldn't be changed so far.

But I think the reason why I love it so much is this: the Latin Mass so much shows reverence to the Eucharist in a way very different to how current Masses are said. And this is not to downgrade the Novus Ordo, since from its inception I believe the reformers tried their best to preserve the spirit of the Mass within it. I believe it is the manner itself by which Masses are held today. I believe it is in how people are made to behave in the Mass. I believe it is in how we are faithful to the General Instructions to the Roman Missal, a product of the Council, that we truly see how much honor and adoration we are putting in the Mass.

Therefore I am writing this not only to proclaim a personal stand but in order to help me further believe: that I believe in the Novus Ordo Mass as well as how I believe in the Traditional Latin Mass. I believe that both of these are different yet equally valid expressions of One Reality that is the Eucharist. I believe that the Council, from which the Novus Ordo derives its inspiration, is inspired by the guidance of the Holy Spirit and rejecting such a Council would entail rejecting the Holy Spirit.

But this is also what I believe, that abuses in the Novus Ordo Mass ought to cease, and that all Masses be offered while being faithul to the General Instruction to the Roman Missal and all documents of the Church.

Brothers and sisters, join me in praying for a holier and more worthy celebration and assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven is like the head of a household who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.”

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits:
http://www.episcopalcathedral.org/window12.jpg, http://dotnettemplar.net/blogfiles/LatinMassinPrincetonNewJerseyArea_145D8/Mass.jpg, http://www.execulink.com/~dtribe/blog/AmbrosianLitRome.jpg, http://www.st-georges-warminster.org.uk/images/pagemaster/Cardinal_Pell_presiding_over_Mass.jpg