The Pearl of Great Price

Mt 13:44-46

Jesus said to his disciples:
“The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”

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What is my Pearl of Great Price?

I was not able to post here for the past two days. Slowly, the daily grind of a medical student starts to get into my so-called schedule, which is not really a list of things to do, but of things to prioritize. Granted, I really feel I am still deficient of time-management skills, and I do feel that if I am to be a good doctor and a worthy servant of God in the religious life, I have to get used with scheduling my time.

For the past few days also, my confusion with the rites with which the Holy Eucharist is celebrated had really gotten into my mind. I think it is in these times of confusion that God sows seeds of faith. I believe that after every significant struggle or confusing circumstance, God is there to clear things up.

I just attended Mass this afternoon. Novus Ordo. While remembering the past few posts I have written here, I am slowly being reminded of how God's presence is felt. Is it in the thunder? In the wind? Or in silence? The mere fact that the Holy Mass, no matter what rite it is said, offers the holy Sacrifice of the Eucharist, I believe that we are actually called to recognize Christ in the changes of liturgy, which may be attributed to the workings of the Holy Spirit in the Second Vatican Council.

Then again, I am happy that somehow God is building blocks of trust and confidence in my Catholic post-Vatican II Church. I firmly believe that His Holy Spirit can never allow the Church to fall, even the gates of hell not being able to surmount it.

Love the Catholic Faith.
It honors and adores Jesus, the Pearl of Great Price, in ways so mysterious yet so spectacular.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.lisasjewels.co.uk/USERIMAGES/Gold%20coloured%20pearls-8mm(1).JPG, http://www.youthtrip.org/resources/images/manaoag-church1.jpg

An Attempt at Clearing Things Up

Mt 13:44-52

Jesus said to his disciples:
“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,
which collects fish of every kind.
When it is full they haul it ashore
and sit down to put what is good into buckets.
What is bad they throw away.
Thus it will be at the end of the age.
The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous
and throw them into the fiery furnace,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.

“Do you understand all these things?”
They answered, “Yes.”
And he replied,
“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven
is like the head of a household
who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.”

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I have been confused for quite a time this week because of how we worship today and assist at Mass. I consider the Mass a central part of the spirituality I am attempting to adopt, and I am really praying for the grace to maintain its sanctity, to preserve its richness, to maximize its holiness.

All along something within me has been telling me that only the Traditional Latin Mass can keep up with such a description of an ideal Mass: sacred, rich, holy. But after thinking and meditating it quite at length, and after reading today's Gospel, I am led to believe in the following things I am about to write.

Many Catholics may consider this generation a very rebellious, secular, modernist society. One need not look deep within this society to find how things are gradually secularized. Personally, I am studying in a university where secular values predominate, in keeping with a spirit of equality with other groups of students who may believe in other gods or do not believe in the divine altogether. People of today's world may have turned into what we may consider a modernist society, in such a way that even our religious values are slowly being made to disintegrate.

We are living in an era where choices seem too depraved and immoral, where pleasure and indulgence take the place of sacrifice and self-giving, where love and peace are turned into hatred and violence. All of these may be happening at too much a degree that many people consider our times to be the last days. Only God may confirm the truth about this assumption, but nonetheless, we may choose to conclude: we are living in a society that necessitates renewal, especially in how we now approach spirituality and Christian responsibility.

This phenomenon, already recognized in the middle of the 20th century, may well be considered an impetus for the Church to reexamine its perspective on contemporary society. I personally believe it is not a question of relevance to the demands of society. Rather I prefer to believe that it is a question of how the Church can bring Christian spirituality to a world in which new forms of an ancient spiritual hunger have been created within our hearts. Thus, the Second Vatican Council.

This is what I believe to be the thrust of the Second Vatican Council: an attempt guided by the Holy Spirit in discerning the role of the Church in contemporary society, an attempt that aims to deliver the Christian message more effectively yet in a manner faithful to Apostolic tradition.

One of the reforms brought about by the Council were the changes in the liturgy. It may still be debatable on whether these changes truly conform to the spirit of the Council and effectively carries out the Council's thrusts.

And the fact remains that the changes in liturgy, which we now name the Novus Ordo Mass, may have served as a starting point for differences in putting the edited liturgy into practice. Here in the Philippines, many of these diversions abound. But somehow, at the end of the day, one may think about how these diversions served their purpose. Did these lead the people closer to Christ? And more importantly, did these differences in liturgy properly pay respect due the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ?

The reformers of the Mass put forward provisions aiming to maintain the solemnity of the celebration and the honor and adoration it must give the Eucharist. These reforms, I am sure, were prayerfully thought out while considering the lifestyle of today's Catholic. But how is the Mass being said today?

Many of the changes in the Catholic Church since the Second Vatican Council have left some people confused. Some may have chosen to leave the Church altogether, and some claim to remain while being in a stance against the Council.

With my discovery of the Traditional Latin Mass, I was tempted to think that this form ought to be used universally within the Church, with all restrictions to its use in parishes be lifted. I think that sentiment wouldn't be changed so far.

But I think the reason why I love it so much is this: the Latin Mass so much shows reverence to the Eucharist in a way very different to how current Masses are said. And this is not to downgrade the Novus Ordo, since from its inception I believe the reformers tried their best to preserve the spirit of the Mass within it. I believe it is the manner itself by which Masses are held today. I believe it is in how people are made to behave in the Mass. I believe it is in how we are faithful to the General Instructions to the Roman Missal, a product of the Council, that we truly see how much honor and adoration we are putting in the Mass.

Therefore I am writing this not only to proclaim a personal stand but in order to help me further believe: that I believe in the Novus Ordo Mass as well as how I believe in the Traditional Latin Mass. I believe that both of these are different yet equally valid expressions of One Reality that is the Eucharist. I believe that the Council, from which the Novus Ordo derives its inspiration, is inspired by the guidance of the Holy Spirit and rejecting such a Council would entail rejecting the Holy Spirit.

But this is also what I believe, that abuses in the Novus Ordo Mass ought to cease, and that all Masses be offered while being faithul to the General Instruction to the Roman Missal and all documents of the Church.

Brothers and sisters, join me in praying for a holier and more worthy celebration and assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven is like the head of a household who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.”

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits:
http://www.episcopalcathedral.org/window12.jpg, http://dotnettemplar.net/blogfiles/LatinMassinPrincetonNewJerseyArea_145D8/Mass.jpg, http://www.execulink.com/~dtribe/blog/AmbrosianLitRome.jpg, http://www.st-georges-warminster.org.uk/images/pagemaster/Cardinal_Pell_presiding_over_Mass.jpg

The Chalice

Mt 20:20-28

The mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons
and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something.
He said to her,
“What do you wish?”
She answered him,
“Command that these two sons of mine sit,
one at your right and the other at your left, in your Kingdom.”
Jesus said in reply,
“You do not know what you are asking.
Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?”
They said to him, “We can.”
He replied,
“My chalice you will indeed drink,
but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give
but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
When the ten heard this,
they became indignant at the two brothers.
But Jesus summoned them and said,
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them,
and the great ones make their authority over them felt.
But it shall not be so among you.
Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant;
whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.
Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served
but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

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Each time the Chalice is elevated for its contents to become the Blood of Christ, we are reminded of how Christ gave up His life for God's plan to be accomplished.

It is but human not to desire death, and as fully human, Jesus somehow felt afraid (thus explaining His immense anguish in Gethsemani). But eventually, God's plan for our salvation took effect in the form of Christ's resurrection. Our eternal salvation is another matter though, for although Christ opened up the door for us, the choice remains ours to make. Just as James the Apostle, whose feast we are celebrating today, Christ today offers us a question: "Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?”

Are we ready to open our hearts to God and follow Him? We need not look far in scripture for us to understand how this can be done. How are we to drink the Chalice of Christ? How are we to offer ourselves to God's service? Jesus Himself tells us: "...whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Saint James son of Zebedee, pray for us. Let your martyrdom inspire us to likewise offer our lives for the love of Christ. Amen.

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Saint James and Saint Isaac Jogues, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.willgwitt.org/images/chalice.jpg, http://www.aug.edu/augusta/iconography/webmuseum/jamesGreaterCano.jpg, http://propheticverses.com/images/img01/img0101/img0101n/41mark0119calling.jpg

Spiritual Diet

Mt 13:10-17

The disciples approached Jesus and said,
“Why do you speak to the crowd in parables?”
He said to them in reply,
“Because knowledge of the mysteries of the Kingdom of heaven
has been granted to you, but to them it has not been granted.
To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich;
from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
This is why I speak to them in parables, because
they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.
Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says:

You shall indeed hear but not understand,
you shall indeed look but never see.
Gross is the heart of this people,
they will hardly hear with their ears,
they have closed their eyes,
lest they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their hearts and be converted
and I heal them.

“But blessed are your eyes, because they see,
and your ears, because they hear.
Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people
longed to see what you see but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

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Great are the temptations of the world today! The things we hear and the things our eyes can see tell us how our generation seems to glorify self-success, to condone immoral values and permit violence and illicit relationships.

We are often told about how food nourishes us and makes us into the persons we are. But what do we eat? It is in this same respect that we often allow ourselves to partake of spiritual rubbish, in the form of today's filth-ridden media.

In this world full of filthy things, we ought to close our eyes and ears from the noise and profanity of today's world. In turn, we ought to listen to the One True Voice of Christ, and open the eyes of our heart to the Love of Christ.

As in how those who intend to lose weight cut back on certain food, we Christians are likewise called to be on a diet: restricting our soul food choices to those only coming from Christ.

You are what you eat. Never ever has this saying ever became this true.

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Today, the Church celebrates the feast of the incorruptible Saint Sharbel Maklouf. The following account is copied from American Catholic.

[...] Although this saint never traveled far from the Lebanese village of Beka-Kafra, where he was born, his influence has spread widely.
Joseph Zaroun Maklouf was raised by an uncle because his father, a mule driver, died when Joseph was only three. At the age of 23, Joseph joined the Monastery of St. Maron at Annaya, Lebanon, and took the name Sharbel in honor of a second-century martyr. He professed his final vows in 1853 and was ordained six years later.

Following the example of the fifth-century St. Maron, Sharbel lived as a hermit from 1875 until his death. His reputation for holiness prompted people to seek him to receive a blessing and to be remembered in his prayers. He followed a strict fast and was very devoted to the Blessed Sacrament. When his superiors occasionally asked him to administer the sacraments to nearby villages, Sharbel did so gladly.

He died in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve. Christians and non-Christians soon made his tomb a place of pilgrimage and of cures. Pope Paul VI beatified him in 1965 and canonized him in 1977. [...]

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Saint Sharbel Maklouf, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.american-pictures.com/genealogy/descent/photos/Isaiah.the.prophet.jpg, http://www.flickr.com/photos/odiosa/2468516233/, http://www.catholictradition.org/Eucharist/charbel-1a.jpg

A Matter of Faith

Mt 13:1-9

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

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After going to Confession and once again relishing God in the Eucharist, I suddenly heard this in my mind: "Worthiness is not a feeling, it is a matter of faith."

All of us are sinners, and sometimes it takes quite a stretch of imagination to think how God would forgive us. Imagine how He has given all the wonderful things of this world, including that magical thing called free will. Imagine how He has blessed us, by first of all creating us, and allowing us to breath and live. The mere fact that I am alive makes me wonder about and thank God at the same time for the life He has given me.

But despite that, I am still a sinner. I have done things that I believe merit punishment and not forgiveness, of separation from God and not communion with God. My post yesterday echoes my yearning to see God if He wills it. But my own capabilities are overwhelmingly insufficient. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!"

"A matter of faith." This is why I love my Catholic faith, which teaches me such a powerful way how God has transformed human weakness into strength, and enabled His people to attain His forgiveness and really have a tangible way of receiving it.

Human weakness, as shown in our tendency to die and succumb to hardship, was defeated by the power of God, through His Son's resurrection! I consider this such a potent expression of how the grace of God can help us defeat our human weaknesses and lead us closer to Him.

And, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we are drawn closer to Him through that power that Christ gave His apostles: the power to forgive sin. Yes, some Evangelical perspectives argue that we can confess directly to God. But, somehow, something's missing: a verbal assurance that we are indeed forgiven by God. This is why I really love the Catholic Faith: the authority of the priesthood that Jesus has given His apostles has given them the power to forgive sin. "What you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, what you loose shall be loosened in heaven."

What's a great part of it as well is the fact that they give a verbal assurance of forgiveness! I believe that if one were to gather all the most powerful words a person can ever say, it is this:

"...through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace
I absolve you from all your sins..."

I pray that with the Sacrament of Penance and the holy Eucharist, step by step, all of us may attain that grace of becoming pure in the eyes of God and seeing Him face to face. And as we relate this post with today's Gospel, may these Sacraments make us fertile ground for the seeds of a stronger faith in Jesus Christ.

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Saint John Nepomucene, patron of the confessional, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://fertilizerinfo.com/images/mp-005/fertilizer.jpg, http://thriceholy.net/JPGs/sower.jpg

The Pure See God

Jn 20:1-2, 11-18

On the first day of the week,
Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early in the morning,
while it was still dark,
and saw the stone removed from the tomb.
So she ran and went to Simon Peter
and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,
“They have taken the Lord from the tomb,
and we don’t know where they put him.”

Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping.
And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb
and saw two angels in white sitting there,
one at the head and one at the feet
where the Body of Jesus had been.

And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “They have taken my Lord,
and I don’t know where they laid him.”

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you looking for?”
She thought it was the gardener and said to him,
“Sir, if you carried him away,
tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”
She turned and said to him in Hebrew,
“Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.

Jesus said to her,
“Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father.
But go to my brothers and tell them,
‘I am going to my Father and your Father,
to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples,
“I have seen the Lord,”
and then reported what he told her.

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How often are we tempted? Or are we too permissive that we don't try to stop it and just let the temptation be translated into sin?

These are questions precisely going around my head for quite a while today. It appears that I am still human enough that my inner devils are attacking me and my drive to achieve Christ's holiness.

Mary Magdalene was one disciple of Christ who was quite different yet very much similar to us. We may not have a past like that of Mary Magdalene--being the prostitute and vessel of seven demons as she was--but she has encountered and defeated temptations and struggles throughout her life in her journey of following Christ. None of these triumphs would have been successful without the Lord. And in the end, she may well have exclaimed: "I have seen the Lord!"

This reminds us of how Jesus rewards those who maintain their purity: they shall see God.

Mary's finding Jesus somehow reminds me of the Christian life, in how we search for Christ, and how we even feel immense sadness that makes us shed tears of despair and longing for God. From time to time God Himself would speak to us, but we would perceive That Someone to be somebody else. But in the end, God's grace allows us to see Him, and in the end, He gives us necessary courage to share our faith with other people.

Dear Mary Magdalene, disciple of Christ, help us to live fully our Christian lives with purity, dignity and holy yearning for God. Amen.

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Saint Mary Magdalene, pray for us.

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photo credits:
http://z.about.com/d/atheism/1/0/z/d/MaryMagdaleneTomb.jpg, http://listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/ivanov3a-1.jpg

Praying for Clarity

Mt 12:38-42

Some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus,“Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.”
He said to them in reply,
“An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign,
but no sign will be given it
except the sign of Jonah the prophet.
Just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale three days and three nights, so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth
three days and three nights.
At the judgment, the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation
and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah;
and there is something greater than Jonah here.
At the judgment the queen of the south will arise with this generationand condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth
to hear the wisdom of Solomon;
and there is something greater than Solomon here.”

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"There is Something Greater than Solomon here."


(in the picture: Saint Ignatius of Loyola in vestments of the Tridentine Rite)

I am currently praying for clarity. Some people have known how God has given me the grace to love the Eucharist immensely. And this is so much so that I'm praying for the grace to offer my life just for This Presence of our Lord to be given proper adoration, honor and worship in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

But people seem not to realize the value of worshipping God's presence in the Eucharist. As a case in point, many people seem to just pass by the Sacred Tabernacle on their way to the sacristy, without even genuflecting or bowing reverently. Jesus is inside that tabernacle!

In addition, I am honestly trying to adjust to seeing people partake of the Sacred Host by hand, something that is too much for me, very well knowing what sins my hands are guilty of. It is a personal choice for me to partake of the Host by tongue, and for me it is no longer a matter of health concern (a medical student I may be) but a matter of faith. If only I could even kneel!

This seems to echo my post for yesterday, which focuses on this phrase: Domine, non sum dignus... My Lord, I am not worthy. This is why I really fell in love with the Tridentine Rite: it manifests the adoration and the worship that the Holy Eucharist deserves. I believe that God speaks better in silence, and how beautiful if the Holy Eucharist were celebrated while being filled with that holy silence.

Today's Gospel echoes the message about God's presence in the Eucharist. In this day and age when people seem to rely on human understanding of Scripture to derive a sense of fullness and holiness (very evident in the services of Evangelical churches), we seem to forget an altogether more powerful Presence of God, in the Eucharist. People today may be searching for a sign that would enable them to lead holier lives, but few people realize that it is the Sacred Host that will help make it possible. Received worthily and in a state of grace, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord will strengthen us. No temptation can ever surmount it.

Let us pray that through the Eucharist, the people of today's Catholic Church may truly rediscover the Holy Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and give Him the Worship and Adoration that He deserves.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, priest of the Tridentine Rite, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.artisttrust.org/sites/trust.civicactions.net/files/images/05.Rue.JonahintheWhaleW.jpg, http://www.digital-images.net/Images/NS_Paint/St_Ignatius_3538.jpg

Domine, non sum dignus...

Mt 13:24-30

Jesus proposed another parable to the crowds, saying:

“The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a man
who sowed good seed in his field.
While everyone was asleep his enemy came
and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.
When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well.
The slaves of the householder came to him and said,
‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field?
Where have the weeds come from?’
He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’
His slaves said to him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds
you might uproot the wheat along with them.
Let them grow together until harvest;
then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters,
“First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning;
but gather the wheat into my barn.”

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"Domine, non sum dignus...
Lord, I am not worthy

... ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanabitur anima mea"
to receive Thee under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.

I have to admit that the Gospel reading above was not the reading I heard this afternoon. This was what I heard:

Luke 18:9-11 (Douay-Rheims)
And to some who trusted in themselves as just, and despised others, he spoke also this parable: Two men went up into the temple to pray: the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee standing, prayed thus with himself: O God, I give thee thanks that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, as also is this publican. I fast twice in a week: I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not so much as lift up his eyes towards heaven; but struck his breast, saying: O god, be merciful to me a sinner. I say to you, this man went down into his house justified rather that the other: because every one that exalteth himself, shall be humbled: and he that humbleth himself, shall be exalted.

Yes, brothers and sisters, if you are fans of the Traditional Roman Rite of 1962, you may recognize this Gospel for the Tenth Sunday after Pentecost. What point am I driving to? I am very excited to just type this here: I attended my first Latin Mass this afternoon! Being brought up in the Novus Ordo Mass, I had no idea what a Latin Mass was like until I experienced it this afternoon.

After having spent the previous night at a house of a very close friend, something made me attend Mass in their parish. I then realized that their parish celebrated a Holy Mass in the Extraordinary Form. I made my way to the church, all the while realizing the need for a missal. Good thing a very kindly lady already seated on one of the pews lent hers.

Actually during the start of the rite, I tried to recall all the videos I have watched about the Traditional Rite, and I began to get excited at the fact that I was about to witness everything before my very eyes. The silence was invigorating, inspiring, elevating!

What led my soul to great joy was when I saw the Host and the Chalice elevated, and later the Host coming into my very being in such a special way: kneeling, tongue out, and the priest giving it himself. My inner yearning for such a way of celebrating and assisting at Holy Mass has at last been realized. I can only praise the Lord for such grace!

Today's Gospel in the Liturgy of the Ordinary Roman Form (The Parable of the Weeds) tells us of how both seeds and weeds can be planted within us. How often do we allow God to uproot our weeds? The Gospel also gives His people a chance to reform themselves, by how He allowed the weeds and seeds to grow, so that at the hour of uprooting the weeds, only weeds are indeed eliminated. How will God look at us on the Day of Judgment?

Interestingly, this connects with today's Gospel reading in the Liturgy of the Extraordinary Form (The Pharisee and the Publican). The reading highlights how all of us are prone to sin, and how we ought to seek forgiveness from God and to come humbly before Him.

Lord, grant that we may not become weeds, but help us bear fruit and spread seeds of holy faith. Amen.

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Saint Stanislaus Kostka, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.life.uiuc.edu/ib/363/image/Wheat2.jpeg, http://stirringsandechoes.blogspot.com/2007/10/gestures-of-prayer.html, http://www.montanalatinmass.com/images/elevationoftheeucharist_ql2x.jpg

* I attended this very beautiful Mass at the Divine Mercy Parish, Sikatuna Village, Quezon City.

Prudently Working for Justice

Mt 12:14-21

The Pharisees went out and took counsel against Jesus to put him to death.
When Jesus realized this, he withdrew from that place.
Many people followed him, and he cured them all,
but he warned them not to make him known.

This was to fulfill what had been spoken through Isaiah the prophet:
Behold, my servant whom I have chosen,
my beloved in whom I delight;
I shall place my Spirit upon him,
and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.
He will not contend or cry out,
nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break,
a smoldering wick he will not quench,
until he brings justice to victory.
And in his name the Gentiles will hope.

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"He will not contend or cry out,nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets."

I grew up in a suburb of Manila while being exposed to the marketplace where followers of a certain fundamentalist sect would preach about the Bible.

Even when our family had to move to the northern province of Pangasinan in my second grade, the sight of a fired-up evangelist boarding the buses and proclaiming God's word did not escape me.

I have nothing against these people who seem to be greatly motivated to carry out the mission of brining God's word to others. In fact, their zeal is even quite inspiring. However, as author Bo Sanchez once noted, their zeal can be compared to how sharks capture their prey: powerful, but very aggressive.

The Gospel for today makes it clear that God may have intended His Messenger, His Son, to proclaim His justice prudently. With how Jesus departed the place after hearing word of the Pharisees' plot to kill him, this reminds us how today's Gospel highlights the virtue of prudence in serving God. Martyrdom is honorable, but it can wait according to God's plans.

Today's Gospel also speaks of how justice must be worked for in today's society: by alleviating the plight of the poor, serving the sick and offering one's whole self for the service of others. God has given us different capabilities to do these things. We have been given talents. This again reminds us of the Parable of the Talents--how are we to use the talents given by God? Are we to use them, or just bury them on the ground?

How do we offer our lives for the sake of justice? In what way is God calling us to do this?

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Saint Francis Xavier, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.ordination.org/Pharisees.jpg, http://lelechicon3hk.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/Manila,_street_market.224210237_std.jpg

Rules, Rules...

Mt 12:1-8

Jesus was going through a field of grain on the sabbath.
His disciples were hungry
and began to pick the heads of grain and eat them.
When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him,
“See, your disciples are doing what is unlawful to do on the sabbath.”
He said to the them, “Have you not read what David did
when he and his companions were hungry,
how he went into the house of God and ate the bread of offering,
which neither he nor his companions
but only the priests could lawfully eat?
Or have you not read in the law that on the sabbath
the priests serving in the temple violate the sabbath
and are innocent?
I say to you, something greater than the temple is here.
If you knew what this meant, I desire mercy, not sacrifice,
you would not have condemned these innocent men.
For the Son of Man is Lord of the sabbath.”

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For some weird reason, I love watching Spongebob Squarepants. And honestly, I am quite astonished at how the spirituality of Saint Ignatius is inspiring me to seek God in the most unlikely things. Like cartoons.

There's this episode where the lead character, Spongebob, throws a party. But because he wanted the party to run smoothly as he wants, he made a rigid schedule for it, very detailed enough to even allot activities for a given number of minutes. He then invited his guests, and as they arrived, he even scolded the ones who were late! When things have been getting out of schedule, despite the enjoyment that all the guests have been relishing at the party, Spongebob then throws tantrums, and tells them to stop whatever they're doing and stick to the schedule. Of course annoyed, the guests managed to get Spongebob out of the picture. He then ended up not being there to enjoy his own party.

Rules, rules. We sometimes become control freaks in our drive to make things our way. But are the people around us being loved? Being cared for? Being noticed at least?

I desire mercy, not sacrifice. In this day and age where everything seems to be a rat race, how are we to be merciful to others? My morning daily reflection said about various religious practices and their uselessness if not being coupled with faith and good works. Are we just mumbling our prayers and doing our best for what we think would earn us our own salvation? This is quite a very selfish orientation of how one may practice Christianity.

Jesus preached to us about such concepts as surrender, service and martyrdom for the sake of others. Some Korean Confucian philosophers once scoffed at Christianity, concluding it as a selfish way of thought. But what these people miss out is the virtue of mercy, verily preached and practiced by Christ on the cross.

Let us pray that God may enable us to love others as much as how we love God by doing our religious practices, whatever they may be.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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Spongebob Squarepants, ©Nickelodeon.
photo credits: http://www.uark.edu/misc/wheat/Images/wheat1.jpg, http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020613/17573__spongebob_l.jpg, http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/9995/rosary9ot.jpg

Inner Peace

MATTHEW 11:28-30

Jesus said:“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,

and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am meek and humble of heart;

and you will find rest for yourselves.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

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"Take my yoke upon you."

How is it to bear the yoke of Jesus? How is it to follow Him?

Surely, the mere fact of following the call of Jesus seems too antithetical to today's world. In today's society where the love of immorality and violence seems to be on mass media everyday, it is quite clear to us that if we are to truly adopt the mind of Christ, we would really get into trouble. One who would ordinarily believe in Christ but not truly trust in Him may end up feeling burdened. "What kind of God have I put my trust on? I feel persecuted, rejected, all alone!" we may end up saying.

But if we truly trust the Lord in our quest of following His call, we can greatly feel how He moves within us and inspires us in our daily life. I firmly believe that if we are to truly strengthen the presence of Christ, no persecution nor rejection shall be strong enough to move our resolve. I believe that if we are to put our faith on God with all our heart, it is only then that the burden of following God's call becomes easy and light.

Saint Ignatius particularly believed that feelings tell a lot about how God moves within a person. I believe that if we sense that somehow, after doing something, we achieve inner peace and joy from within, we responded to God's call!

This is what I pray, that God grant me the grace to truly follow Him, and not only feel inner peace, but spread this peace to others.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.davyking.com/Carabao3.jpg

Remaining in Him through Mary

MATTHEW 11: 25-27

At that time Jesus exclaimed:
“I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
for although you have hidden these things
from the wise and the learned
you have revealed them to the childlike.
Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father.
No one knows the Son except the Father,
and no one knows the Father except the Son
and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.”

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Two things in today's Gospel are particularly close to my heart.

"although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike." Not all things can be read from books. This particularly draws me to every patient encounter in the hospital, as we learn how to treat patients and care for their needs. Sometimes we may have the opportunity to teach them about favorable attitudes in dealing with their illnesses, but oftentimes it is we medical students that learn more from them. We may teach them about how their disease came about; but in turn, we are being taught such essential concepts like trust, affection, endurance and the value of prayer.

"no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.”
I believe that we Christians are particularly fortunate that God has granted us the grace to get to know Jesus. But how much do we know about Him? I once attended a recollection that emphasized the value of knowing the role that Jesus plays in our lives. After being given time to reflect about the role that God plays in my life, I ended up realizing that He is a source of consolation. I have yet to discover how much God would want to reveal Himself to me. How much am I called to see and know about Him?

"Blessed are the pure, they shall see God." Am I pure enough?

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Today is the feast of our Blessed Mother under the title Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I am particularly enamored to this title of our Lady, because of the Scapular which I have been given to wear. It has been hanging on my neck for many years now and it has witnessed various events of my life that drew me closer to Christ and His Call. May the guiding love of our Blessed Mother lead us to knowing Christ more.

I have been hearing this song in my head for the past few days, and I wish to post it here. It tells about one's commitment to a possible call in life, whether in the priestly or married life. I choose to dedicate this song to the Blessed Mother as a way of consecration to her intercession. This song is taken from the famous answer of Ruth to Naomi. Wherever you go, I go.


Pananatili (Staying)
Hangad
(with my unauthorized translation of the title and lyrics from the Filipino original)

Huwag mong naising lisanin kita;
Do not wish that I leave you
Wala ‘kong hangaring ika’y mag-isa.
I do not desire that you are left alone
Sa’n man magtungo, ako’y sasabay,
Wherever you go, I shall walk with you
Magkabalikat sa paglalakbay.
Shoulder in shoulder as we journey on

Mananahan sa tahanang sisilong sa ‘yo,
I will dwell in the home that will shelter you
Yayakapin ang landasin at bayan mo.
I will embrace your path and your nation.

Poon mo ay aking ipagbubunyi
Your God I will praise
At iibigin nang buong sarili.
And I will love with all my self
Sa’n man abutin ng paghahanap,
Wherever my search shall lead me
Ikaw at ako’y magkasamang ganap.
You and me shall be truly together

Ipahintulot nawa ng Panginoon:
May the Lord let it be so:
Ni kamataya’y maglalaho, anino ng kahapon.
that death vanish, so the shadows of yesterday

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa ‘yo, mananatili ako.
For love is what I offer, I will remain
H’wag nang naising tayo’y mawalay,
Wish no longer that we may be apart
H’wag nang isiping
Reckon no longer
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.
That our journey will end.



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Our Lady of the Way, pray for us.

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photo credits:
http://www.uscg.mil/hq/chaplain/graphics/Catholic/National%20Shrine/17%20Christ%20of%20Revelation.JPG, http://www.cspya.org/Our%20Lady%20of%20Mt.%20Carmel.jpg, http://www.preceptaustin.org/RUTH%20AND%20NAOMI%20ORPRAH%20LEAVING.jpg

Holiness?

MATTHEW 11:20-24

Jesus began to reproach the towns where most of his mighty deeds had been done, since they had not repented. "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would long ago have repented in sackcloth and ashes.

But I tell you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. And as for you, Capernaum: Will you be exalted to heaven? You will go down to the nether world. For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day.

But I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom on the day of judgment than for you."

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One of the greatest things that the Vocation Seminar (see, the indescribable high is still here) taught me was how to make the Examen of Consciousness, a prayer method inspired by the experiences and spirituality of Saint Ignatius of Loyola. A component of this Examen is the part when one resolves to correct his mistakes and shortcomings, while imploring the aid of the Holy Spirit to give strength and divine grace.

Admittedly, I discovered once again that the resolution to do good and improve on one's mistakes can only be achieved one step at a time. Personally, it had to start with the value of punctuality and time management. Managing time wisely is an essential skill for medical students, and I have to admit that I am not really good at this skill yet. I often find myself immersed in either busying myself too much with things that are not of paramount priority; while actually getting stressed at how short time is for studying and finishing coursework.

"The Lord has done great things for me," my Blessed Mother once remarked. I can also claim that God had done the same to me. But have I changed my ways?

I am still reflecting on how I am called to strip myself of everything to offer myself to God. Come to think of it, I reckon that this thinking has pervaded through every post I have made in this blog since having the inspiration to put this up.

Once again, as every blog post of mine has allowed other people to observe, I ask questions to myself. Am I ready? Am I ready to embrace the dirt? To smile despite the situations being presented before me? Am I ready to smile when people do wrong to me, lambast me or belittle me? Am I ready to face people of different experiences and inclinations? And seek how I can serve the God within them?

While wolfing hurriedly my lunch, I became suddenly inspired by the example of people who are doing menial tasks, like that janitor in the shopping mall, cleaning the dirt on the tables left by those who had eaten there. Or waiters at the local fastfood chain. Or metro aides. Something within me wants to experience poverty at its very core, by being in their shoes. I believe God will grant me the time and the future opportunities. For now, I will have to seek God in my current circumstances, as a medical student trying to make sense of this urgency that I feel: the urgency to follow God's call.

You may say that I am trying to show an image of holiness, with these things that my heart had been urging me, but I don't really think so. In particular, when something within me tells me how "holy" I have been feeling of myself, I wake myself up and pray harder. I believe it is when we feel that we are holy that we feel we are complacent. Oftentimes, a matter of days only pass after feeling "holy" and I commit sins characteristic of my innate weaknesses.

I am never holy. God will only have the authority to judge that. My weaknesses are still here. For now, I am intensely praying for the grace to be holy, as I must, as I could, as I should.



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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://www.knls.org/images/humble/humble23.jpg, http://mbec.phila.gov/procurement/pix/janitor.jpg

The Sword: Ilocano* Style

MATTHEW 10:34-11:1

Jesus said to his Apostles:
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth.
I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
For I have come to set
a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
and one’s enemies will be those of his household.

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet’s reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man
because he is righteous
will receive a righteous man’s reward.

And whoever gives only a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones to drink
because he is a disciple–
amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

When Jesus finished giving these commands to his Twelve disciples,
he went away from that place to teach and to preach in their towns.

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I am still in an indescribable high especially after the Vocation Seminar I experienced yesterday. But after attending morning class today, and after being reminded once again of my responsibilities as a medical student and future physician, somehow I felt inner peace within. The prospect of having to follow God while studying to be a physician can be so exciting, but at the same arousing a sense of uncertainty. What are the experiences that await me? How do I deal with the people that God is about to send into my life in my future medical profession? If God wills it eventually, how may I be able to enter into a different profession?

There are still many questions popping into my mind, but with the peace that God allows me to feel from within after attending the seminar, I am confident that God is allowing me to tread the right path. Nonetheless, I still pray for the strength to take up His Cross and follow Him, and I furthermore pray that I may follow Him specifically in His Society.

But today's Gospel reminds us that the call of God serves not as an instrument of peace; rather it is as a sword. My current circumstances may not yet present the ultimate manifestation of how I am to separate from my father (surprisingly, Jesus concretely presented the separation of son from father in the Gospel), but somehow the call operates in such a mystical way as to how it acts as a "sword" in my life.

Last night, I read the Gospel in our Ilocano Bible, and the translation beautifully presents to me the concreteness of such a comparison of God's call to a sword. In the Ilocano translation, sword translates to kampilan, which is not exactly a sword in the Western point of view. There are different kinds of kampilan but one which is quite commonly used is the kampilan bolo, which may be also used in a myriad of ways in the ricefields and vegetable gardens of the rural Northern Philippines, where we Ilocanos originated. It can be used not only to cleave things, it also is used to uproot and cut weeds, thereby breaking and fertilizing the ground for another planting season.

As my Ilocano Bible pointed out to me, God's call must not be presented to us as merely an instrument of division. It is also a way for God to uproot our inner demons, to drive out and correct our depraved passions, and to prepare our hearts as a fertile ground for His seeds to grow within us.

It must be remembered that the Gospel yesterday spoke about being fertile ground for the seeds of the Lord. All of us have been given God's call. How do we respond? Do we allow God's grace to act like swords, like kampilans, separating us from our evil and selfish ways?

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, who offered his sword to Our Lady, pray for us.

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additional photo credit: http://www.hisfinishedwork.com/pics/sword_of_the_spirit.jpg

*I was born into an Ilocano-Tagalog family. You see, the Philippines has many ethno-linguistic groups. The group mainly occupying the nation's capital Manila is the Tagalog group. The national language is based on the language spoken by the Tagalog group. My family meanwhile, is from the north part of Luzon Island, populated by the Ilocanos. Through time I have adopted the language of my father's family, and am using it in prayer and reading scripture. I suspect it's God's will again. It must be clear that each group has its distinct language, and although each Philippine language is related, they are mutually unintelligible.

Preserve me Lord

Preserve me Lord from the tempest within, if it will lead me to abandon You
Preserve me Lord from the dangers beyond, if it will lead me not to serving You
Preserve me Lord from any infirmity, if it will weaken my resolve to love You
But let the tempest within go on, blowing with overwhelming intensity if it is through the storm that I hear Your Voice
Let the dangers beyond prey upon me, if it is through walking the dark valley that I feel safe in Your embrace
Let any infirmity fall upon me, if it is through experiencing the weakness of the flesh that I strengthen Your Spirit within me.
Finally, let me spill my blood if You will let it pass, if thereby I may be able to offer my life and die for the greater glory that is You.

July 13, 2008, 11:36 p.m.
After attending the Jesuit Vocation Seminar
CLC Center, Ateneo de Manila University




photo credit: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/3634/hug1.jpg

Finally!

MATTHEW 13:1-23

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat down, and the whole crowd stood along the shore.

And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying: "A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots. Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it. But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold. Whoever has ears ought to hear."

The disciples approached him and said, "Why do you speak to them in parables?" He said to them in reply, "Because knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven has been granted to you, but to them it has not been granted. To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is why I speak to them in parables, because they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand. Isaiah's prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says: You shall indeed hear but not understand, you shall indeed look but never see. Gross is the heart of this people, they will hardly hear with their ears, they have closed their eyes, lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their hearts and be converted, and I heal them.

"But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear. Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

"Hear then the parable of the sower. The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart. The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy. But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away. The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit. But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold."

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First of all, let me begin today's post with a very BIG thank you for all the people who prayed for my attending the Jesuit Vocation Seminar. I am very happy that this blog serves as a venue for some people to seek God and at the same time join me in my prayers for my discernment process. Today's seminar was held at the CLC Building, Ateneo de Manila University.

For quite a while, I have been given the chance to interact with members of the Society, and for some weird reason I haven't been given the grace to formally start my vocation discernment. With today's seminar I am very happy that God had finally allowed me to take this first formal step into the journey towards my vocation.

As I made my way to the Ateneo, I was not very sure what to expect. Much so with what to feel after I had gone through the talks, the videos and the sharings from different members of the Society. But I am again very thankful because of the depth with which this call had made itself felt within my soul. I am very happy to feel the call intensify.

Bro. Harvey Mateo, SJ (our group facilitator), my co-participants Mark and Lear, me.

Many thoughts circulated during the seminar, but most especially with how I view my own spirituality. These questions were particularly in my mind, and I would like to enumerate them one by one:

1) Am I too proud of the spiritual growth that I feel I have attained? It is understandable that the opportunity to attend the seminar was presented to each of us participants during the different phases of our own individual discernment processes. But this is what I dread to feel: feeling too confident of the knowledge that my personal search, apart from activities such as this seminar, has allowed me to know.

You see, with this discernment thing, my inner curiosity has propelled me to seek more information about the vocation, and particularly, about the Society and Ignatian spirituality. Sometimes, even coincidence (therefore God's will)!

Just yesterday, as I was accompanying my seminarian-brother to buy his prayerbook at the local Catholic bookstore, we qualified for a free-book promo, and we were given a chance to choose a title. I randomly chose "Men of God, Men for Others" without really knowing what the book might be about. I then found out that it was a book of transcribed interviews with Fr. Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, SJ; the former Superior-General of the Society! And the book, in particular, was about the Jesuits! Reading the book proved to be an enjoyable and enlightening experience, yet my inner feelings were at it again. I knew I had to attend the vocation seminar. But I am still very thankful to God for giving the opportunity to have the book. However, nonetheless, I really pray for the grace to humbly get to know His call and His Society one step at a time.

As I have seen today, books can only do so much to inform me of the things I seek.

2) Am I ready to leave everything and die for Christ? I believe that every journey towards attaining perfect Christian spirituality starts with the process of signing away one's rights and privileges, and giving up every single part of oneself to God. With the lessons that God has given to me today, I am really praying hard. I am praying hard for the grace to attain enough humility so that I may accomplish all measures necessary to give up everything for God.

Martyrdom also came to the fore, and I was deeply inspired and at the same time, honestly disturbed. For one, I know that at this point in my life I am not yet ready to die for Christ. There are still so many things to accomplish before I can give them up. What's to give up without really accomplishing anything anyway?

But I was also inspired. With the life experiences that I had related to my spiritual director two days ago, I felt that these type of experiences may really pave the way to preparing a person for a possible religious vocation. Nevertheless, at the end of the seminar, I came into this point: not yet. My previous posts will not fail in reminding me and everyone this fact: I have to be a skilled laborer. A physician, before being a religious.

3) How do I know myself? I love what one sharer told us: you are like a set of ingredients which can be mixed and cooked to make only one dish. What dish am I? God has presented before me the different ingredients--my life experiences--which He had allowed me to possess. What would I make out of these?

Today's Gospel reminds us of the value of becoming receptive to God's message, and actually standing up for what God is calling us to do. I am thankful that God has allowed to scatter the seeds, and allow so much as one seed to germinate in me. The question however remains: will I let it grow? And what fruit, if ever it grows, will this seed produce in me?

Participants of today's Vocation Seminar, with the Seminar Team and the Prenovices of the Arvisu House Jesuit Prenovitiate, Quezon City.

Please continue to pray for me. And rest assured, to all who read this humble web log, that I am praying for you. Thank you very much.

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Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Saint Francis Xavier and Blessed Peter Favre, more than ever, pray for us.

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photo credits: http://donaldb.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/sower.jpg