Community Confusion

It has been a while since I posted here. Let me update you about what has happened to me.

1) I am now an intern in the PGH. Enough said. :)

2) I learned Brazilian Portuguese and tried to practice it with someone half a world away. I even thought that that friendship would deepen, and become something else, after all I have been yearning for a relationship. But that did not prosper. God had other plans.

3) The third I will discuss at length here.

I joined a local charismatic community for single men and women. This was during a phase of my life that I have been very confused about the future, about my life, about what to do. This confusion has led to seeking for the wrong answers. I sinned. The busy schedule only made things worse. I was happy on the outside--cheerful to other classmates, caring to patients. But then I realized God is calling me to serve Him and to strengthen my prayer life. I decided to enter a local singles community by attending a Christian Life Program. Here's the thing: I was in a very busy schedule and I wasn't able to attend all the courses I needed to enter. They did grant me the chance to make the commitment to joining the community despite this, and I did enjoy the company of the brothers and sisters.

But admittedly, I feel I am driven to do something more.

I tried to bring my sister to this community, now she is pulling me to join another--the community of singles associated with our original charismatic youth community, where together we served God for the past eight years.

I am currently discerning whether to stay on with my singles community or to seek out a chapter of this singles community that my sister wants me to join.

I am currently praying hard, for a move like this may do give me a chance to serve God, but it may lead me to prioritize relationships over others...

Don't get me wrong. I really feel God is in work in me, and for once, I felt once again that God is taking control, far from the days I embroiled myself in serious sin. But right now I am at the crossroads. I do sense that God is telling me something -- the verse from Joshua 24:14 keeping ringing in my ears. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I still do not know what this means.

To readers of this blog, please pray for me. I want to really serve the Lord in a way that would make me feel at home, and once and for all, make me feel empowered, without limits, without hindrances, only God Himself.

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Fight the good fight of faith

People of God

Unstained and without reproach

Before the eyes of men

Run the good race, O sons

Of the most high

And inherit the crown of life

from the Lord Jesus Christ!